No. 42 Newsletter of the Biology Dep't., Washington University in St. Louis Nov.-Dec., 2001


FROM THE EDITORS

By editorial fiat we have decided to combine the November and December issues of Biologue, and wish everyone a package deal of holiday greetings. This is a two-for-one special that is in part borne out of necessity: the lack of an overwhelming amount of news items and other matters that we thought would attract your attention. We do have a few items of news interest, and the usual Sphinxisms and cartoons that always grace these pages. There are also announcements, a wonderfully graphic description by Allison Miller of her summer research work in Central America, a bizarre letter sent to a local school board, brought to our attention by Charlotte Ellis. We also have a few tidbits from the department archives, as your editors have searched through old issues of Zoonooz, the Zoology Department newsletter that was published in the years 1945-49.

Since this is the last issue of Biologue for the year, we want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy and enjoyable holiday season, and safe travels or whatever your activities may include. Don't forget the department Christmas party on December 12 in the awesome space of 300 South Brookings. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

The Editors
Gar Allen
Tuan-Hua David Ho
Eric Richards


COMINGS AND GOINGS

From the Curtiss Lab

Louisiana State University Chancellor's Distinguished lecturer Roy Curtiss recently returned from Baton Rouge where he gave a talk titled "Genetic Manipulation of Plants and Microbes: Impact on Global Nutrition and Health." Richard Groger a Fellow in Infectious Disease in the Curtiss Lab has a new addition to his family. A baby boy, born November 26 at 6:56 PM, 7 lb. 1 oz. Congratulations to the Groger family. From the Losos Lab

Rich Glor spent several weeks last summer in the Dominican Republic with Wash U sophomores Paul Hime and Steve Poe, a postdoc at UC Berkeley. Rich and Paul were collecting tissue samples for Rich's thesis work on population structure in West Indian lizards, but caught lots of other interesting reptiles and amphibians along the way. In all, they observed over 50 species of frogs, snakes, and lizards. The highlights of the trip were several rare montane species and an anole species that may be new to natural history. Perhaps their biggest accomplishment, however, was driving up just about every mountain in the country on badly worn dirt roads and only blowing out five tires.

From the Schaal Lab

"Hot on the Jocote Trail"
Submitted by Allison Miller

Allison Miller of the Schaal Lab, writes:
"This summer, I traveled through Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Panama in search of cultivated and wild jocotes (pronounced ho-CO-tays) (Spondias purpurea L.; Anacardiaceae) and other closely related species (S. mombin L. and S. radlkoferi Donn. Sm.). Jocotes are medium-sized trees native to Mexico, Central America, and northern South America. They are cultivated for their fruits, which look and taste something like a baby mango. For my dissertation research at Washington University, I am studying changes in genetic variation associated with domestication. Jocotes are an ideal system for examining the domestication process because within Spondias purpurea, several different types of domesticated populations are represented: orchards, backyard trees, living fences, and trees cultivated in forests. Jocotes also exist in wild populations, although they are rare.



"Domestication occurs as humans select plants from wild populations and begin cultivating them. Because domestication is an ongoing, evolutionary process there are various degrees of domestication within a single species, from wild populations to highly modified varieties. We know that in many of our major crops, the genetic variation found in the highly modified varieties is much less than the genetic variation found in wild populations. In other words, during the domestication of our major crops, genetic variation has been lost.



"Many tropical crops have not yet undergone the intensive selection and breeding characteristic of modern agriculture. These crops appear to exist in the earlier stages of domestication and thus provide an opportunity to investigate the geographic structure of genetic variation prior to their development into major crops. I am characterizing genetic variation in one of these crops, jocote. First, I am interested in the origin of genetic diversity in cultivated jocote populations: Where did the cultivated populations originate? How many times were jocotes domesticated? Has extensive genetic exchange between wild and cultivated trees occurred? What are the historical relationships among the cultivated populations? In addition to addressing the evolutionary history of jocotes, I will provide quantitative estimates of genetic diversity found in the various stages of domestication in jocotes (orchards, living fences, backyard populations, and wild populations). By comparing genetic diversity in cultivated and wild populations, I will assess the proportion of total genetic variation that has been captured in the numerous types of cultivated jocotes during the course of domestication.

"I went to Central America with the goal of collecting as many jocote populations as possible, in addition to multiple populations of Spondias mombin and Spondias radlkoferi. For the first eight weeks of the Central American adventure, I traveled with two undergraduates from Washington University, Anna Paschke and Erin Cubbison. These students were a great help in the field: they had a real knack for spotting jocotes from afar and made beautiful herbarium specimens. In addition to assisting me with my work, Erin and Anna conducted independent study projects related to their own academic interests (architecture and anthropology/biology respectively) for which they received university credit. Erin documented the types of plants used in the construction of homes, and how people used plants to alter the space around them. Anna focused on the ethnobotany of various Spondias species. Erin and Anna's participation in this field trip was funded by a grant from the Danforth Foundation to the biology department at Washington University.



We began our trip in Guatemala City. After meeting with Analu and Chuck MacVean at the Universidad del Valle, we traveled to Antigua for a few days of intensive language school; this served as our "orientation week". Antigua was the original capital of Guatemala; the colonial city, with its cobblestone streets, four hundred year-old churches, and quiet plazas, provided a relaxing and enticing introduction to Central America.



This calm orientation lasted until our fifth day in Guatemala, when 78 prisoners escaped from a maximum-security prison in Escuintla, 30 miles from Antigua. The police eventually caught twenty-five of the armed escapees. The remaining 53-armed convicts sought refuge in nearby forests. Needless to say, we avoided these areas and still managed to collect several jocote populations. We traveled west to Lago Atitlan, and then drove Rio Hondo, Puerto Barrios, El Estor, and Coban in eastern Guatemala. "Following Guatemala, we journeyed to El Salvador for a brief but worthwhile stay. San Salvador is a lovely green city with some of the best food in Central America (pupusas (grilled masa de maiz and cheese) - mmmm!). We visited the University of El Salvador to meet with Nohemy Ventura, our primary collaborator. We continued our search for wild jocote populations with Nohemy in two national parks Bosque El Imposible and Bosque de Cinquera. At Bosque El Imposible, we found jocotes cultivated in the forest, in addition to other "native" jocotes (locally known as jocote de iguana). In a small homestead near Pueblo Caluco (Dept. Sonsonate), one family was growing four varieties (Jocote de chapin, jocote tronador, jocote de succaron, jocote turco). Back in San Salvador, while our plants were drying, we squeezed in a day trip to Costa del Sol, one of El Salvador's finest Pacific beaches. From San Salvador, we hopped the King Quality bus for Tegucigalpa.



"In Honduras, we had the pleasure of working with excellent students from the University of Honduras and the Escuela Agricola Panamericana at Zamorano. We collected plants near Zamorano, Juticalpa, Comayagua, and Choluteca with various representatives from the University and Zamorano. We stumbled upon perhaps the most exciting jocotes of the summer in the mountains above Choluteca, in southern Honduras. We had meandered up a nearly impassable rocky road to a place known as El Plan del Jocotes. We drove past a school where the students were outside at recess.



They ran to our car, jumped on it, and hung on or chased us on foot as we continued up to Briza del Sur, where the road ended. The students helped us locate several unusual jocote plants: the fruits were small and very acidic. Despite repeated attempts to eradicate the wild jocotes, the plants were very hardy and were still hanging on. We collected everything we could, and headed back to Tegucigalpa to dry and ship the plants before heading for Nicaragua.



"Nicaragua is the land of lakes and volcanoes - and jocotes! Pablo Pedro Moreno of Universidad Nacional Autónoma de Nicaragua in Managua met us at the Ticabus station and guided us throughout our stay. With detailed collection data from Doug Stevens and others, we were able to locate several unique jocote populations throughout the western half of the country. Near Volcán Masaya, one man was growing jocote guaturco, jocote verde dulce, jocote coser, trompa de pero, and jocote tronador outside his home. In addition, Pablo Pedro took us to his brother's farm in the northern department of Nueva Segovia, near the Honduran border. It was there, near the town of El Jicaro, that I drove across my first large river (fortunately, it wasn't that deep). From Nicaragua, Erin returned to St. Louis for resident assistant training at Wash U. Anna and I proceeded on to Costa Rica to continue the search for jocotes.



In our first two hours in San Jose we saw more U.S. tourists than we had seen for the previous two months. Anna and I visited the offices of the Organization for Tropical Studies (OTS) and the National Institute for Biodiversity (INBio), before renting a car and cruising to Puntarenas, and up through the Nicoya Peninsula to the Area de Conservacion Guanacaste (ACG). We spent two days in the research station at Santa Rosa National Park before journeying to the capital so that Anna could return to St. Louis to start the fall semester. I stayed on in Costa Rica and traveled with Reinaldo Aguilar, the renown INBio botanist, to the Osa Peninsula and Corcovado National Park. Reinaldo hosted us at his home near Rincon, where he cooked tortillas and inadvertently cooked a rat that had crawled under the stove burner and died. He tossed the dead animal on the floor - the smoking ratone provided a unique ambiance while we enjoyed our tortillas and cervezas. Once we arrived at Corcovado, Reinaldo located several populations of jobo (Spondias mombin) along the trail to Sirena Biological Station. These Spondias trees were 35 meters in height - he used his sling-shot/fishing line/rope chain saw to procure several excellent samples.



"Following Costa Rica I traveled on to Panama, my final Central American destination. I met Mary Merello at the Hotel Acapulco in Panama City. We visited the herbaria at the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute (STRI) and the University of Panama herbarium, and made plans to collect plants at Barro Colorado Island, the Azuero Peninsula, and north into Chiriqui and Bocas del Toro. Mary and I traveled with Beatriz Wong, a student from the University of Panama for most of our trip. Panama differed from other Central American countries in that we found no evidence for any wild jocote populations. However, we encountered multiple living fences and the several cultivated varieties.



"All in all, the trip was a great success! We encountered wild populations, jocote living fences, jocotes cultivated in forests, in people's yards, in small fincas, and in larger orchards. We collected leaf material from nearly 600 individuals: 418 jocote accessions (Spondias purpurea) and 154 accessions of Spondias mombin, S. radlkoferi, and S. cyatherea. We found multiple varieties of cultivated jocotes, and recorded 40 different common names for Spondias purpurea. We were able to travel largely without incident through these six countries, learning not only about jocotes but also about Central American agriculture, lifestyle, and culture. We were very fortunate to have excellent contacts and guides in every country. By far the greatest joy of the trip was interacting with Central American residents and farmers. The local people were extraordinarily enthusiastic about sharing both their plants and their extensive agricultural knowledge. They contributed significantly to my research project by allowing me to collect plant material, but more importantly, by helping me to better understand the cultural context of jocote domestication.



NEWS FROM THE NSLC
POWER-POINT TUTORIAL

(Submitted by David Heyse)

Two technology workshops will be offered on December 14 in the NSLC Computer Lab

Basic PowerPoint

This hands-on workshop will introduce PowerPoint basics such as creating a presentation and manipulating slides. Participants should bring notes (saved on a floppy or zip disk) for a presentation that they have already prepared (e.g. a class mini lecture or short conference presentation) or come with an idea for a future presentation. This workshops will meet in the NSLC Computer Lab LS 117 from 1-2 PM. RSVP.

Inserting Images into PowerPoint

This hands-on workshop will show you how to insert and manipulate images. Sample images will also be available or participants can bring their own images saved on a floppy or zip disk. Save your image in JPEG or GIF format. This workshops will meet in the NSLC Computer Lab LS 117 from 2-3 PM. RSVP.

Contact David Heyse for more information.


JOAN GREENBERG HONORED

One of the Outstanding Staff Awards announced last week by Dean Ed Macias presented annually to non-teaching personnel who have contributed significantly to the effectiveness of the college's teaching, advising, counseling, and research was given to Joan Greenberg, Administrative Assistant for Student Affairs in the Biology Department. All recipients will be honored at a reception on January 31, 2002, from 3:00 - 4:30 p.m. in the Women's Building Lounge. Recipients will also each receive a $250 gift certificate to the Galleria.
Joan's citation read as follows:
"Always friendly and smiling, Joan is the mainstay of the department in its relationships with undergraduate students. She has supervised the advising of biology majors for many years and, in the process, has developed personal connections with the students that help them feel like they are an important part of the department before they join laboratories. With cheerful efficiency, she organizes enrollment, grading, and room assignments. She is also generous with her time even while attending to her other responsibilities." Congratulations to Joan (Eds)


VIKTOR HAMBURGER MEMORIAL SERVICE

A memorial service was held on November 5, at 10AM in Graham Chapel, for former colleague and department chair Viktor Hamburger (1900-2001). Speakers included Chancellor Mark Wrighton, Dean Edward Macias, and Department chair Ralph Quatrano, along with faculty members David Kirk, Gar Allen, Owen Sexton, Marilyn Krukowski and Gerhild Williams. Viktor's daughter Doris Sloan and granddaughter Shelley Asper presented reminiscences of Viktor from a family perspective. His daughter Carola Marte attended as well. A musical introduction was presented by a chamber trio which included Hugh MacDonald, piano (and current chair of the Music Department), Elizabeth MacDonald (faculty in the Music Department) and violinist Sue Thierbach. A reception was held in the Women's Building immediately following the ceremony.

OBITUARY

It is with regret that Biologue learned (from Charlotte Ellis) the news that former department employee Nina Plurad passed away November 16. Nina worked as a lab technician for Biology 101-102 when it was a two-semester introductory course for majors and non-majors, and later for Bio 105-106 which was largely a non-majors course. Nina helped coordinate laboratory activities and maintain laboratory equipment. Her husband, Santiago Plurad, worked as an electron microscopist at the Medical School, and all three of her children graduated from Washington U. We extend our deepest sympathy to Nina's family.


Beatle Memorial

On Friday, November 30, 2001, Dan Piatchek organized an impromptu get-together to commemorate the death of former Beatle George Harrison. Dan brought his guitar and invited anyone interested to drop for a spontaneous sing-along to celebrate the life of one of the twentieth century's most influential rock musicians.





FROM THE SPHINX

(Submitted by Anne Chilson)

1. What is time?

18:46

What you're wasting reading this.

What stops everything from happening at once.

'Time is an illusion, lunch-time doubly so' (Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy).

Time is the measurement of change. The second law of thermodynamics states that all systems tend to a state of higher entropy, or disorder; presumably therefore the end of time will be when the universe is completely jumbled up, all the energy in it will be evenly spread out, and no more change taking place. But by then I'll be past caring. 2. What's the toughest tongue-twister in English?

The Leith police dismisseth us.

May not be the most difficult, but the shortest one has to be "Toy Boat". Try saying it 10 times quickly!

I think the Guinness Book of Records once listed as the most difficult tongue twister in English: the sixth sick sheikh ate six sick sheep, have a go!

I read in the Guinness book of records years ago, that the worst in the world was the Czech for 'The skunk rolled down and ruptured its larynx' Anybody speak Czech?

"Red lorry yellow lorry" is still quite tricky, but in my experience people really get their tongues in a twist with "The Leith Police dismisseth us". Some are practically impossible at a fast tempo, such as "The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick" _ that is, if you pronounce "sixth" properly, and not as the currently approved variation "sikth".

Cricket critic.

Thanks to my borrowed Lonely Planet Prague Guide (you'll get it back eventually), "strc prst skrz krk", meaning "stick your finger through your neck", is pronounced as it is spelt, and is quite tricky.

How about "I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant pluckers' son and I'll keep on plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucking's done!"

Peggy Babcock (most people can't manage to say it quickly even twice).

"Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead".

I understand that 'wasps' nests' is really difficult to say.

Here is one: Beautiful Bobby Black was beaten by a big blue baseball bat.



3. Can you have the ambition to be humble?

No, but not, as you might think, because of the apparent semantic mutual exclusivity of ambition and humility. Humility is a state of mind, and is therefore something we choose to do, and is compatible with being amibitious. We are humble TO and "before" a perceived authority: God, the moral absolute, a person or group, i.e. the humility stands against a set of criteria. A man wishing genuinely to serve the people and becoming a politician could be humble and ambitious. (Yeah, right.) In fact, mock humility is a key sign of (dishonest) ambition, so the possibility must be sensible. Humility it is not a point to reach: it is a constant self_reminding of one's flaws and incapabilities. It need not be perfect: whilst attempting to be humble we often fail. This does not mean that we then have to "aspire" to humility as though we have to "get there" again: the failure to remain humble is in fact the perfect reason to feel humbled. From there, the right "acceptance" of this failure will, itself, be humility. We could wish we were more humble more consistently, but not have an ambition to be so: we merely should decide to be. To claim an "ambition" to be humble is terribly dishonest.

Maybe you could ask a sociable hermit.

Only if you tell absolutely no one. (I think you are allowed to hope that everyone will notice).

It is important that we separate two completely DIFFERENT uses for the words ambitious. There is firstof all the more technical denotative definition of the word 'ambitious ' as : 1. an eager strong desire to achieve something' [American Heritage Dictionary] . Desire to achieve something is NOT necessarily a something that encourages a sense of self superiority at all . This use of the word: 'ambition' does NOT in any way signify pride in self . Then there is the second DIFFERENT use of the word 'ambitious' which is a NOT technical but, instead, connotative or looser use of the term 'ambition'. This second use of the term 'ambition', instead, is used to signify in popular speech a desire to win acclaim for oneself as in the phrase 'personal ambition' . With the first use of the word 'ambition' , there is NO inherent paradox in affirming, "She has an ambition to be humble".



4. Sorry about this one, but for some reason it has been causing heated debate at work. Can chickens swim?

No they don't have the necessary oil glands to preen their feathers to make them waterproof so they quickly become waterlogged and sink.

Although chickens are not waterproof this does not necessarily prevent them from swimming. Cormorants are expert swimmers but have no oil gland to waterproof their feathers with.

Yes, but only when the road gets flooded

Margaret Thatcher's foreign secretary in the early 1980s, Geoffrey Howe, is reputed to have once said that he was prepared to swim across the Atlantic, if that's what it would take, to ensure that the then secretary general of the Commonwealth, Sonny Ramphal of Guyana, would not go on to become the next secretary general of the United Nations. Indicating at least that someone who was in every other way a political chicken or some other sort of barnyard chicken was at least interested in attempting to swim.

They do breast stroke

We once had a chicken that liked to go paddling in theduck pond. That said, we had another that nearly drowned once when the goose pushed it in.

To think chicken can swim is absolutely unbelievable.Why? Judging from a chicken's physical appearance ( I refer it to it's legs) it does not have that kind of foot as ducks which enable the duck to swim and float on water.



5. If a hole could be tunnelled from one side of the earth to the other, passing through the earth's centre, how would an object behave if it was dropped into the hole (assuming no air_resistance). Would it oscillate up and down, passing from one side of the earth to the other endlessly?

Yes, starting from rest it would accelerate until it reached its maximum velocity at the centre, then decelerate until it reached the other surface at which point its velocity relative to the Earth would be zero. It would then fall back through the centre to the other side and repeat. This is assuming that the earth is a uniform sphere.

Yes. But you'd have to assume a lot of other things too. For a start, that the earth wasn't rotating, and the sun wasn't orbiting the centre of our galaxy, and that our galaxy wasn't orbiting .....etc. Then you'd have to assume that there were no other energy losses like electromagnetic braking of the object you dropped, as it passed through the earth's magnetic field, or that collisions with various sub atomic particles or photons didn't occur. You see, endlessly is a very very long time indeed!

No it would not. You are assuming a single point at the centre of the earth through which all the gravity acts. Here on the surface it is convenient to think like this. However, consider 3/4 the way down your hole where there will be an awful lot of mass above the object.

The pull of gravity here would be in 2 opposite directions so the net effect would be much less than at the surface. At the middle point there would be no net gravitational effect at all. This all adds up to a rapid braking effect. Your object may oscillate slightly but would soon find itself floating in the centre.

Yes and no. The force due to gravity inside a solid sphere is proportional to the distance from the centre of the sphere. Force being proportional to displacement from a point is the condition required for simple harmonic motion. The object would oscillate endlessly. I believe the oscillation period is 84 minutes for the Earth, but I haven't tried calculating it. However... An object of finite size would be gradually slowed down by tidal forces, because the force on the object varies with distance from the earth's centre, there is a slightly different force at one end of the object compared to the other end. The tidal force will try and stretch the object along the direction of the earth's axis. A real object would be heated up by this, there would be a steady leakage of energy from the oscilation into increasing the temperature of the object and the oscillation would eventually die down. If the hole was bored anywhere but between the North and South poles, the object would hit the side of the hole fairly quickly. The earth is rotating on its axis, the object doesn't share that rotation once you've dropped it. [Why not? That sounds Aristotelian. --Eds] The earth would move around and hit the object. Even if the hole was bored between the poles, the object would still eventually hit the sides of the hole. The earth's polar axis is itself rotating (precessing, a bit like what a gyroscope does when it slows down) with a period of 25,000 years. How long the object kept going would depend on the size of the hole. In practice, the object would slow down due to air resistance if it didn't melt going through the hot centre.

It is important to remember that the earth is not a perfect sphere which makes the calculation of this already ludicrous question very difficult.



6. Why does the universe exist rather than not exist?

The Universe must either exist or not exist. If it did not exist, there would be no where to pose the question. The fact that it does exist allows you to ask your question. It all about the anthropic principle.

If the universe did not exist, you could not ask that question, as you wouldn't exist either. Therefore since you are able to ask the question, the universe exists.



Neither of the two previous answers actually answer the question. I suspect the real answer is, "by pure chance."

The question is not, as the above answers assume, "Does the universe exist or not?", it is "Why does it?". It seems unlikely that there will ever be a strictly scientific answer to this second question since it appears that any hypothesis will be effectively untestable. However, one "natural" explanation (as opposed to "supernatural") concerns the idea that there are an infinite number of simultaneously existing universes. In order for a mathematical set to be truly infinite, it must contain the empty or "null" set. So, this infinite set of universes must contain the case in which the universe does not exist. Of course, this leads to the absurd statement that "the non_existent universe exists simultaneously with the universes which DO exist", but I gather that paradoxes such as this are common in set theory when dealing with such "self-referencing" sets. No wonder so many mathematicians top themselves.

7. At what point does graverobbing become archaeology?

When you wear a pith helmet and/or donate your swag to the British Museum.

Graverobbing is for personal profit and no regard is paid to the aims of knowledge. Archaeology is directed by the desire to understand and explore, to enrich our knowledge: valuable finds are directed to museums. By definition, archaeology (which seeks knowledge) is unlikely to dig up recent graves; so the (apparent) temporal question is just a coincidence. The two activities are totally unalike, whatever "age" grave is unearthed.

Graverobbing is, as its name implies, illegal. Archaeology is not. For one, grave_robbing implies that anything found (including the corpse, in the case of Burke & Hare)may be used for personal gain, while in archaeology the finds are generally exhibited for the purposes of informing and educating. In Britain an archaeologist who wants to dig up graves must apply for permission from the bishop in whose see the grave is located. In general this permission is sought before the dig commences, just in case a burial ground is uncovered.

It's not a question of WHEN, but BY WHOM. Desperate scallywags native to the area of said grave (eg Egypt), grubbing around for the wherewithal to feed their starving families are graverobbers: educated upper-class westerners with study grants and PhDs in the offing are archaeologists.

As a student of archaeology, this question has occured often throughout the course. The answer above does define the difference between the two activities. Archaeology attempts to interpret our world through that which is left behind. My lecturers have often said that to excavate a site is to destroy it. You gain the evidence but you lose that which is in place. This is perhaps the point I am making. Excavational archaeology is used in places that are either of rare value or about to be lost (due to development, etc) It would be very much against ethics to excavate a burial site unless there was clear reason to do so (new archaeological knowledge). To even put graverobbing in the same context as archaeology shows a very 19th century outlook on the matter.



FROM A HALF CENTURY AGO

General Fizzeo or Back Tee by H. L. C.*
(Zoonooz, Oct. 15, 1949)

At long last, two of my courss have arrived in the Undergraduate Mind. Yes, we are two-thirds in the groove. As background material for this revelation, I should point out that as an advisor of Zoology Majors, I have always secretly envied the easy familiarity which Fizz Ed, Pee Chem and other courses enjoy with the undergraduates. It sort of puts Histology, cytology, and parasitology in a class ith austere subjects such as English, Latin, and History, which no one has had the audacity to abbreviate.

Catchy nicknames are a panacea for advising difficulties, especially when a student is being cautious about what he is letting himself in for. You merely lean back in your chair, fix him with a friendly smile and say gustily: "Well -- how about Back Tee or General Fizzeo?"

"OK, sure," he says, "either would be swell". The only trick then is to change the subject quickly before he gets that worried look as you write down "Botany 310" or "Botany 412" on his permit.

I tend to favor anthropology as a good related course for a zoology major and frequently suggest it if the student is clawing around in this air for a course. It generally doesn't go over very well. That worried, puzzled look comes into his eyes again, and he soon changes the subject. He ends up by insisting on some chummier course like Sike, Soschm Phil, E. Kahn or Polly Sigh. It never did seem fair that I and some of my colleagues who teach such courses as Genetics, Insect Morphology of Invertebrate Paleontology, should have to share Anthropology's fate.

We who teach courses like the latter have not even enjoyed what I consider to be Class Ii approval. Some courses, for instance, have acquired friendly but not particularly intimate appellations, like "abnormal", 'comparative", "organ", or "experimental". In this connection I though VH would be sure to join our ranks when he came up with a course several years ago called "Developmental Physiology and Developmental Genetics". After a short period of confusion and adjustment, however, it was referred to as "developmental", whereby it cleared the first hurdle at least.

After four years of this ("Principles of parasitology? hmm -- yes. I will give that this fall. Eh? Oh -- yes it's the study of parasites; you know, -- parasites") you can imagine my emotions when a starry -eyed young junior, fresh from comparative, looked me straight in the eye during a wrangling session over his schedule one day last September --

"What's the deal for next spring -- Now Doc, will it be Site-O or Hist-O? I swallowed hard, hardly ablt to trust my ears.

"Why, uh", I stammered, "next spring it is' ah, er, Site-O of course. I give Site-O every spring". He signed up immediately, without so much as asking what the course was all about.

*Alias, Hampton L. Carson



HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
WISDOM FROM AGES 8-10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person forever by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, Age, 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kevin, age 8



WHY EVOLUTION IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

The following letter, submitted to Biologue by Charlotte Ellis, was sent to the Brentwood (and perhaps other) local school boards in what we must assume is a serious attempt to discredit the teaching of evolution. The correlations here are statistically challenging!
-- Eds

From: Advisory Board
Advanced Reality Research
Re: SAVE AMERICA Please
Solutions to social Ills

Dear Mail Clerk: You are authorized to make enough copies of this important message for each of your local School Board Members and all school administrators. The prime copy goes to the party responsible for the curriculum and book selection.

Gentlemen: Everyone is and becomes what they believe, are taught, experience and hope for. There is no known exception to this brain/mind law.



The following is a composite of research statistical studies comparing students who believe macroevolution against those students who were taught and believe intelligent design (creation) origins options.

Note: The intelligent design groups had four times less clinical low self esteem, 3.2 times fewer arrests, 4.1 times less jail time, 9.6 times less suicides, 7.2 fewer abortions, 6.6 times fewer murders, 8.3 times less drug users and drug related deaths, 5.7 times fewer alcoholics and relational problems. Money wise the intelligent design groups averaged 27% more income and had an amazing 12.5 larger net worth plus several other comparisons I need not list here.

I am trying to get George Barna to do a larger follow up research study for legal proofs for the major groups I have joined, some of which are sue happy. One of these groups is the "Robin Hood's merry men". They are a semi-secret group of the best legal minds (mostly retired) who delight in driving bad federal judges out of office. They are well along in plans to mount a major class action suit against the ACLU, NEA, text book publishers, writers, certain scientists, schools and colleges and anyone else who takes an opposing position. They will represent over 100,000 parents and students who can prove damages to their lives by what they were taught in schools and colleges about life. The figure one of they mentioned was $6.6 Billion. I suggested he move the decimal point one place to the right. I am however hopeful that recent evens will make legal action unnecessary. That I pray.



I am now on this page asking you the question of the hour and America's future.

Does your school district (1) Agree that evolution is a lie and damages students. Or (2) We are neutral but are willing to request new text books that do not deliberately (terrorist like) damage our students. Or (3) We insist on teaching damaging lies to our students at all risks.

Please choose and check one of the following options.

One: Agree ( )
Two: Willing to change books ( )
Three: Insist on being tried ( )

Name of School___________Town______
Phone number________By____________

No answer will automatically put you in class 3 from which Robin Hood's Merry Men will pick 10 or more Missouri Schools and all its parties as named defendants.



COVER FOR ZOONOZI FOR NOVEMBER, 1949

The Issue was devoted to a very clever skit, with words set to tunes from Gilbert & Sullivan's HMS Pinafore (hence the ship them). We don't know if the skit was ever performed, but it is very clever and might well be the basis for an enterprising graduate student group to modify for some future occasion (hint, hint!). See Gar Allen for the original libretto!

Again, many thanks to Irma Morose for typing and layout.